And you thought I would wither and fade away

For months this thought had troubled me, for nights I lay thinking about the way things turned out, who would have thought that the answer to my wretched nightmare would lie in a book called 'The secret' by Rhonda Byrne. This nightmare had weighed me down for months and I woke up thinking about killing myself and killing those who torment me in my dreams and I would ask my sister what would they be doing right now and her answer was "they are having sex right now as we speak and you can't do shit about it" and I would gulp down this hard fact, usually with a sleeping pill.

All these nights I had just one thought in my mind, I need an answer for this and I need to put an end to this evil. Three months later a friend gives me a book out of nowhere and she says "this will change the way you think, try it" and I looked at the book and it was called 'the secret'. There it was, the answer to my question. The secret it holds is no complex chemical formula nor is it alchemy, the secret is the power of positive thinking and positive feeling. I can't explain this to you but you have to read this for yourself because when you do, you will get to say that expression that you hardly get to say .... "deja vu"

The book simply states we can achieve everything in life by following 3 simple steps of think, feel and believe. These are one of the most power tools an individual posses but man fails to match it with the wisdom. Now I see things unfolding in front of me, my past was vortex of negativity comprising of a very strong black hole with the heart colder then the north pole and filled with gluttony. I would have been sucked in to this god forsaken hole if I hadn't made the mistake of making a wish to change my life dramatically. That wish was a positive feeling, a thought, a desire for freedom..... then I forgot all about it. Today 5 months later I realized that what I wished for had come true and thing were better than ever I discovered myself, saw who what this evil had made me, felt the sadness it had caused to my loved ones and then I prayed and thanked to the one force in the universe who has no name or a face but watches over us diligently and with mercy. I said to myself "deja vu". My nightmares have faded away, my tormentors are dead and my equilibrium restored. I want to send a strong message through this blog, everything we ask for is received to us in this life but remember you have to pay a price for it, if your wish is honest and selfless you need not worry but for all those whose hearts are filled with greed and self preservation you will have to pay for it in this life or the next.

Objectivism: the road never taken

I logged into to my blogger today and I was shocked to see that my last blog was in December 2009. Seems like I went through a writers block (if that's applicable to me :-P). A lot of fans, critics and some spies were left wondering what I was upto. An avid critic of mine requested that I get back to writing again, so here I am attempting to tackle a very strong personal issue and an issue that is hidden in the deepest corners of our Indian mind.

First of all it is more of a desire compared to an issue, I am sorry, you must be wondering what issue/desire I am talking about, well I am talking about financial independence or self sufficiency.

I wonder if this issue/desire ever comes across the minds of our age group because a cognitive mind will always feel the need to be free or to be self sufficient. It could be the day you decide that you want to stop sleeping in the sweltering heat of Mumbai and get yourself an air-conditioner and try and pay the electricity bills or buying your first car, bike, LCD tv or a laptop. These are the very first thoughts and steps towards being free. In retrospect however one could say that this desire for materials, isn't it driven by selfish motives and here I begin to wonder, what has selfless motives and action given any one? Road to personal nirvana has never been selflessness, it has always been and always remain selfishness. It's no surprise that Ayn Rand never rings a bell in peoples mind since her theories were established in 1950's. Although her theories were drafted in 1950's its application has been relevant for the most part of the our modern times. Ayn Rand developed the term called 'objectivism' and what she meant was "the proper moral purpose of one's life is the pursuit of one's own happiness or rational self-interest". Come to think of it, it could be said that America's growth in this century is down to objectivism.

Objectivism is applicable in our day to day life and forms the very basis of our freedom. It's a very disturbing fact that we still live with our parents dictated by our Indian logic and I am not trying to point fingers here because I am one of them too, however what separates me and many young dreamers is that we want to be self sufficient and we want to be objectivists. I have been fortunate enough to go through a trial run of this and trust me its not as easy as it seems, its challenging, scary and terrifying but when you get the hang of it you will wake up proud everyday knowing the fact that now you stand on your feet not supported by anyone. The biggest question isn't how to start this journey, it's when to start this journey. Just like a mountain expedition requires training, skills, equipment and guts , objectivism requires courage, strong self belief and a stable economic condition. When you have these three vital ingredients you can start your journey. Getting out of the house is the first step, rent out your first apartment, experience how it feels to be in an apartment all alone, start paying for those everyday basics we took for granted before.

After a few days you realise this is your fortress, this your kingdom and what does a good king do, he makes his kingdom strong every single day. In a year's time you will realise how far you have ventured outside your comfort zone and how free you feel.

You may have to make a lot sacrifices that could include anything from cooking for yourself to missing your family but remember freedom needs sacrifices. I hope this blog helps people realise where you stand in your journey, not everyone would want to take this ride but hey objectivism wasn't meant for everyone.

Ask yourself today, what do you really want in the next 10 years and if your answer is settle down, boss you need to rethink your approach. If your interested in knowing Ayn Rand and her work you can read about her by clicking on the link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayn_Rand.

Cheers,

Vin

Opening pandora's box

Epic, blockbuster, award winning, five stars etc etc etc. These are the words which are being associated with James Cameron's Avatar, mind you some of these words were associated before the film had actually been released in theaters.

So what makes the film so special? why are people watching this film? what are the interpretations drawn from this film?

It's a story about an indigenous population of humanoids called Na'vi fighting against a large earth based corporation who are on Pandora for a metal called 'unobtainium' which apparently sells for 20 million USD per kilo. The Na'vi stand between unobtainium and the corporation. So the corporation has its own army who wants to take the resource by aggressive means. However a diplomatic solution is attempted through the Avatar program designed to have Na'vi bodies remotely operated by humans to gain trust and negotiate terms of their relocation. So, the negotiator, while negotiating with the Na'vi falls in love with their princess and fights against the corporation to kick them out of Pandora.

Now my intention was to give you a very simple description about the story, but tell me, all this while do you feel that this story seems all too familiar?

Does East India Company ring a bell ladies and gentleman? They had their own army, they came for our resources, we fought them, we were indigenous, we had our kings, queens and princess as well. This resource driven quest for power has been a strong feature of the westerners. No one in the western world has accepted this fact and probably never will but its ever present in their subconscious mind and Avatar is one of its interpretation.

Perhaps the most compelling quote from the film for me was when Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) says "they already killed their mother", he was referring to planet earth which we all know is going to be a hard fact very very soon.

Pandora is a dream world, so much nature on the screen in 3D made me feel so fresh. Those shades of green,blue and brown relaxes your mind gravely. I wonder if Mumbai was the same some 40-50 years ago. The graphics used is the best I have seen for quite sometime, notice the sweat on the characters face, notice the mud on their face as well kudos to the animators.

So Avatar is a must must must watch. It has deep connection to our history and also is a great entertainer. On a lighter note our Mangal Pandey may well be comparable to Jake Sully :-D but the fact remains Pandey is a real life character who died for our independence.

Cheers

Vin

Where the wild things are

I am finally in Mumbai and it's been a week boy it feels so good. I feel like I have left some extra baggage (54 kilos aprrox ;-) back in Melbourne. So here I am and it looks like I am standing at that start line of my career, after all this is the place I dreamed about all my ambitions and it's ironic I am back here only this time I am armed with a Master's degree.

In one half years the city has changed radically, to be more precise the infrastructure development seems like they are in a rush for the olympics and where the hell is the bloody recession? Oh yes it was just an excuse to fool fresh and vulnerable graduates to work for lower salaries. Anyway the infra looks modern but not world class just like the people of this city, modern but not world class.

Anyone who has been abroad knows the amount of patience you gain from those world class folks and this patience thingy has rubbed on me big time. At one point of time I was the angry frustrated mumbaite with my middle finger being on active duty all the time. Now I am happy to accept our city's limitations and uncivilized mannerisms exhibited by almost everyone. What makes me really sad is everyone looks so unsatisfied, frustrated and mindless.

Sometimes you should try and observe random people and you will find many interesting behavioral patterns. From here I discovered a common problem called the rat race syndrome. Guess what even my sister exhibits this syndrome :-P. People suffering from this syndrome want to be first and thats it. Overtaking, cutting the queue, pushing, shoving, dodging, putting their hand forward to claim their stake or whatever. People suffering from this syndrome don't even exhibit human like behavior and would have been perfect candidates for Charles Darwin and his theory of 'survival of the fittest'. Obviously these folks still feel that we are in medieval times and too some extent it is understandable. It is no surprise to me that our medieval education system doesn't teach us the basics of civic sense.

There is a theory that every city has a life of 300 odd years and after that the city becomes deserted, fast forward to another 250 years and this bloated city will be deserted. Unfortunately none of us will be alive to see this but hopefully this blog could go on and prove my point.

Till then you know where the wild things are......

Vinay

In pursuit of happyness

I have two days remaining in Melbourne and it was Melbourne where I started my pursuit of happyness. Coincidentally I watched the movie in pursuit if happyness in Melbourne and thats why I have misspelled happiness just like in the film.

The word happy, probably the easiest word to learn and spell. Happy birthday, happy diwali, happy anniversary and so on.

What is happy anyway? I look at my Facebook and I look at moaners and groaners and yes I am one of them. But as I said I am in pursuit of happyness and I begin to wonder has anyone reached that elusive little place. Some say, yes I have cause I just got married, and I ask are you sure?

Happiness, I have a very eccentric example of happyness, in the movie Dark Knight Alfred (michael caine) says to Batman (Christian Bale) and I quote "some men just want to watch the world burn". Isn't it scary ? but when he said that I felt yes one could feel that way, sometimes I feel like watching a part of this world burn. I don't know why but this thought crosses my mind but only sometimes. Happiness is spread across sanity and insanity but insanity is not bad at all. Insanity is a version of happyness the world does not want to pursue, it wants money, safe financial future, apartment, merc, armani etc.

I am still in pursuit of happyness and therefore I am heading back home to start from the start. I don't know if I will ever find it or may be I might stumble upon happiness and fail to recognize it. This could be the same for anyone who is in pursuit of happiness however there is a difference between me and them. I am not looking for money or fame in my pursuit, I am looking for someone who will be my sheath. A sheath is a container for a sword or a dagger and I am looking for my sheath, I don't know how she looks, I have never seen her but I know she is out there may be looking for me.

I cannot tell you how important this person is for me and my mind tries to connect with hers in my dreams.

I am in pursuit of happyness and I hope to find her and I hope to find my happyness in her.

Vin

Seven days and seven lessons from Melbourne

It was 29 July 2008 I stepped out of tullamarine airport and saw Melbourne for the first time, to be very honest it was not very majestic simply for the fact its located in outskirts, but the very sight of my friends waiting for me made it special.

Melbourne makes you uncomfortable especially if your from Mumbai, because there is hardly anyone around you and when my friends left me at home and left for work, for the first time in my life I felt what only elderly people feel, the fear of being alone.

Not a soul in sight and guess what I was living in suburb, oh our definitions of suburb is just like chalk and cheese. This is the day when I learned my first lesson, "never be alone and never let anyone be alone".

As I struggled through this journey, I remembered how easy it was for me back home, I had a job, had a bike and had home it made me realized how established I was even though it was a small achievement. My bike is my first asset and I regret selling it till this day I have dreams of her crying out to me asking me to stay with her. I loved my bike and no one can take her place ever. This taught me never to let go of anything special and treasure it for the rest of my life.

Melbourne taught me what friendship really means, they are not just people you hang out, party with, goof around with. They are the hand that reaches out to you when you're down, they are people who tell you like they do in Liverpool "you'll never walk alone". Now I know what they mean and now I know really what friendship means.

Melbourne is the great leveler, It doesn't care if you are a master's student, it doesn't care what you have achieved back home and it always asks you "show me what you can do here!!". It made me shut up my big mouth and taught me to talk through my actions and work.

It taught me how everyone is equal, it just the human mind the elevates itself. Humility is the greatest achievement a man can achieve.

It showed me how vulnerable we all are and no one was bulletproof. It taught me how to protect myself first and then to protect everyone.

Finally, Melbourne asked me never to give up and it reminds me of one the greatest quote Rocky Balboa made;

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done."

My friend Sujit is not philosophical nut like me, but he gave me one of the best philosophy's I have heard in a long time "You don't have to make others lose, You have to make yourself win!"

I will dedicate these seven learnings from Melbourne through a tattoo, so that I wake up everyday and let these learnings guide me through those 24 hours.

A friend I tried to save....

It's true when people say we are living in fast times, leading fast lives. I tried counting how many hours I spend everyday doing stuff, like how many hours I sleep, surf, eat. What I never realized is I was not spending any time reflecting. It's clear, I am no good at it and I believe lot of people don't think in retrospect, may be it decreases their "social value" I am not sure, just speculating on this one.

All these days I have been going through a very tough time but its my inner strength that kept me going, I didn't exactly put on a poker face but my strong humor bone kept my smiling and laughing. When I reflected on this whole fiasco, I realized I had failed. I had failed to save a person who was my dearest and closest friend. I failed to protect my friend from getting sucked into so called reality, failed to show the way, failed to show what humility means, failed to show what forever and forever means, failed to make dreams a reality, failed to show how to keep true to oneself .

My biggest failure in life is to lose this friend and I wish I could show that there was always another way to do things. I was told once by that same friend that I was too idealistic too value oriented, I wish my friend could understand why I was like this.

I will carry this failure with me like I carry all my other failures in life and try not to lose a friend again, especially with this world waiting to lure them to a place which has no values, no ethics and no honor.

To my friend, I will always miss you, I am sorry I failed you, please remember me in a small corner of your heart cause I tried for you......

Vin